Being a kid is scary. Monsters under the bed, parental dischord, handsy dead pop stars...and the movies don't necessarily help, either. This week, John and El'Ahrai come up with lists of Top 5 Creepy Kids' Movies! Plus! A Count/Pointercount review of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"! Although, so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death: one, rigor mortis; two, a rotting smell; three, occasional drowsiness.

Some pairings work, like peanut butter and chocolate. Some pairings don't, like sushi and ketchup. And some pairings, like coffee and strawberry preserves, work when you don't expect them to. This week, El'Ahrai and John reveal unexpected, offbeat, or otherwise weird film pairings with their lists of Top 5 Double Features! Plus! Reviews of "The Taking of Pelham 123" and "Ghostbusters"! Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate.

The director, even more than the best boy, is the ultimate arbiter of the onscreen experience. Some directors--those not named Uwe Boll--elevate the material presented to them beyond its origins. This week, John and El'Ahrai run down lists of Top 5 Directors Who Elevate. Plus! Reviews of "The Hangover" and "Drag Me to Hell"! Let's face it, the kids aren't exactly dressing up as The Scorcher for Purim anymore.

Not every blockbuster is looking just to separate you from your cash. Every so often, one comes along that has a little more to it. This week, El'Ahrai and John look at their Top 5 Blockbusters With More. Surprisingly, the tone poem that is "Stealth" doesn't come up. Plus! Reviews of "The Girlfriend Experience" and "Valkyrie"! Frank here was staring at a white picket fence. Now he's single, he's broke, and has second degree burns all over his body. And I see a spark in his eye that I haven't seen in fifteen years.